How do veganism and gender coexist in each of your lives?
Sam: Both my gender identity and my veg-lifestyle choices have required learning and unlearning. Especially about the patriarchy, food systems, and western capitalism. There is so much to unpack across these institutions, and as I just mentioned, they’re all interconnected.
I also think gender identity and veganism require open-mindedness.
For me, both dismiss a need for “perfection,” which aligns with the idea of a binary—having to align 100% with one side or the other. Many see veganism as a diet—one in which you strictly abstain from all animal-products. In reality, it’s just a lifestyle of making conscious choices that consider both human and non-human suffering. For instance: I work in a kitchen, and this morning there were leftover eggs from breakfast. Instead of throwing them away and letting them go to waste, I ate them—even though they weren’t vegan. To me, it’s more important to reduce food waste where I can—as long as it won’t make me sick!—instead of following a strict idea of what veganism should be.
This is similar to how I view my gender identity—though it’s an identity, not a lifestyle. I used to believe that there was a fixed binary and that I had to fall on either side of it. Now, I happily exist outside of that binary and identify as non-binary.
A lot of it is a balance. You have to look at how your individual choices impact the world. Individually, people—especially those with economic and social privilege—have a lot more power than they realize. And they can make a real impact on society simply by making more conscientious choices. With that being said, many of our personal choices about food are out of our control, especially for those with limited access and choice. So at the end of the day, I think it’s most important to try and be conscious of what we are eating, and to make positive choices for ourselves and the planet where we can.
Scott: I was raised in an incredibly conservative Christian family. We attended a church where I was taught that I was born a sinner, that my “default“ was sinful, and that I was required to repent on a regular basis. This fostered a form of self-loathing. And this came long before my journey into discovering the truth about my sexuality and gender identity. It has taken a lot of spiritual work to remove that old programming and to accept that, like all animals, I am worthy of happiness and love.
There’s an old saying that “hurt people hurt people.” Until I could accept that I was spiritually sick, I could not become spiritually healthy. It has taken a lot of time, energy, and work for me to get to this place, but I honestly believe that there is a little bit of good in the worst humans, and a little bit of bad in the best. That we are all animals sharing one planet. And that we each have the right to be here. When I think about the human animals who do harm to themselves, to nonhuman animals, and to the environment, I no longer see them as an “enemy“ but, instead, as spiritually ill. And if I meet someone who is ill, I behave with compassion.
Many parallels exist between my veganism, my gender identity, and my personal journey with recovery and sobriety. I think the common thread I use to connect all three is “acceptance.”
If I choose to obsess about things that I cannot control, it’s easy to get frustrated, angry, and burnt out. When I accept those things that I have no control over, I have more peace. I can control what I do, what I eat, and what pronouns I use and practice using for others. What people eat, what people do, and what people choose to say are all things that I cannot control. The more I focus on accepting events, circumstances, other people, their actions, and my own personal shortcomings, the more happiness I find myself with.
What better thing can I practice in my daily life that will help animals and the planet than acceptance? Equal to acceptance is compassion. First I must start with true compassion for myself. I must choose to forgive myself for sometimes misgendering myself, for having eaten animals for so much of my life, and for living in my addiction for so long. When I can have compassion for myself, I can have true compassion for the animals and for other humans.